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Stepping Outside the Box

It has been two weeks since our last "Bold" post in which I discussed my fear of taking the leap of faith in myself. Well, in that two weeks, I did it and so far it's working. I am no longer afraid. I am deep in the process of building my table and it feels really good.

I don't think you understand my excitement, Queen. This morning, I woke up to money. That is a feeling that I quite enjoyed and look forward to replicating in the future. However, that's not the point of this post.

The point of this post is that I now understand how important it is to step outside of the box and live authentically. I now want to recreate these results in every aspect of my life. It's like a lightbulb has gone off and I've been awakened to a new way of thinking and looking at life.

How do I explain it? Well first, let me explain that my leap of faith was re-structuring my business from an in person coaching and personal assistant business to a virtual assisting business. I also made the decision to dive full time into my business.

I was terrified of being out on my own completely again. I kept going back and forth on the decision of whether or not to get a job as a safety net. However, the thought of being someone else's employee after what I just saw with the pandemic, repulses me. So, here I am boldly and completely stepping into my own.

So far, I've contracted two clients. Although I'm only contracted for eight hours a week, I am already making half of what I made as an employee working forty hours a week. That is insane. That feels really good and I need more of that. Imagine when I'm completely booked for thirty hours a week?

I recently came across this tiktok that said: Are you really a jack of all trades or did you just learn to get really good at a bunch of stuff because you got your worth confused with how much labor you can provide to people. -@themotherbirdie

That slapped me in the face so damn good. It put into words what I have been struggling with this year! As I dive deeper into my healing journey I am learning that I do not have to work hard for anybody. I don't have to shed blood, sweat. and tears for anyone else on this here earth. I was not put on this earth to serve or cater to not one human being. The only one that matters here is me. My happiness is important. My well being is important. My health is important. Everything and everyone else can kick rocks.

I spent 2020 reclaiming the word "selfish". #MySelfish2020 was the hashtag. That was because I was learning to put myself first and make me my #1 priority. For too damn long, I have put jobs, people, family, and friends above myself and I'm tired. While everyone else is living and eating good, I was over here starving myself. So, I stopped taking care of other people and put all of my focus on me.

I believe 2021 is showing me that although I am finally focusing on me, that doesn't mean that I run myself into the ground trying to make my goals and dreams happen. For so long, I've put so much emphasis on how many jobs I had, how many majors I had, and how well I was able to juggle a bunch of things. I did this because I felt these things brought me worth and purpose. Now, I know that they don't. They only bring me stress, anxiety, and short lived half hearted applause. I don't want to do that anymore.

I don't want to overwork myself. In fact, I don't want to work at all. I want to do what I love to do and I want to do it well. What I love to do is create content. I love to write. I love to make videos. I love practicing self care and going to therapy and diving deeper and deeper into my spiritual journey. I love inspiring and motivating people. I love helping people reach their goals and dreams. None of that feels like work to me. All of that just feels like breathing.

So, more of that. My goal for these last few months of the year is to restructure my life just as I have my business. How can I do more without doing too much? How can I let go while also living intentionally?

It starts with trusting myself, my abilities, and my gifts. It starts with trusting my higher power and for me that's God, to lead the way. It starts with being brave enough to stop in the middle of traffic, turn around, and go the other way; my way. It starts with letting go and letting God work his magic.

I believe this is what it truly means to step into your purpose. To do what you were put on this earth to do and to trust that God will handle the rest. Letting go yet living intentionally.

Seeing this work out so well, so far, with my business has got me looking at other areas of my life. Where else can I start cutting myself some slack? Some things that I've come up with so far:

  1. Stop leaving all of my chores to one day. My #SelfishSunday used to be so much work. There are so many things that I felt called to do before I can began the new week: laundry, clean the house, meal prep, skin care, wash my hair, grocery shopping. Yet, these things would take me all damn day and night to do and weren't really enjoyable. In fact, I did all of these things on Sunday to prep for the new week yet, would get to bed so damn late on Sunday night that I'd always start the week of sluggish and exhausted. So, I broke up my chores and now do a task per day. I wash my hair on Fridays, clean my room and do laundry on Saturdays, Grocery shop and meal prep on Sundays, Skincare on Mondays, etc. This has allowed me to enjoy my Sundays more and start my weeks off well rested and ready to attack my goals.

  2. I've created a daily routine down to the hour and a weekly routine of what I need to be doing each day of the week. This has allowed me to become a lot more organized with content creation and is helping me post more consistently.

  3. I pivoted my business from in person to online. From coaching to assisting. I've also niched down to female entrepreneurs looking to build an online presence for themselves. That way, while I'm aiding other queens in reaching their goals, I'm learning tips and tricks along the way to improve Phorbe and the Queen Maree brand.

Now, this doesn't mean that I still won't have my hands in many different pots. My virtual assisting business is just the tip of the iceberg. I am still working on my book, I am still creating content, I am still affiliate marketing, I am still investing in the stock martket. However, as I said before, none of those things are work. They are all labors of love, that just so happen to make me money.

This also doesn't mean that I won't be helping my family and friends out any more either. This just means that helping others comes last instead of first on my priority list. Once I am settled, once I am healed, once I am stable and living my best life I can then, and only then, be more help to others.

Are you tired and overworked, Queen? Are there areas in your life that are just draining the life out of you? Maybe you too, need to pivot in the direction of you. Here are some journal prompts that may help you figure out your next moves:

  1. Write out everything you do in a given day. Categorize everything by purpose, self-care, and priorities. Priorities are things outside of yourself that are major priorities in your life i.e taking care of your child or your ailing mother. These things are necessary to your way of life because they are apart of you, but they don't make up the whole of you. Anything that fits into those three categories is safe. If it doesn't fit into those categories, rethink doing that particular thing. For example, if you're working a job that isn't purposeful, maybe it's time to look for a new job. You spend forty hours a week at that place. Why not make it a place you love to be at. A place that helps you fulfill your purpose while also bringing home a check.

  2. What aspects of my life do I feel the need to control every detail of? Where can I loosen the reigns and give my higher power more room to work their magic?

  3. Am I happy right now?

  4. Draw a line down the middle of the page. On the left side write down all of your problems. On the left side brainstorm ideas on how to fix them.

I hope by being vulnerable and sharing these revelations with you, it will spark the same or something similar in you too, Queen. Your worth is not tied to how well you can fit inside the box because we were not made to fit in the box at all. You are worthy just being who you are. Take a deep breath and step outside the box. Step into your power--your purpose instead. The weather is nice out here!



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