Stop and Smell the Roses
Summer is right around the corner, Queen? How do you plan on celebrating?
If you’re reading this then you already know what time it is and you know how I like to get down. The goal of Phorbe is to help you reach past your struggles for your goals and dreams. It’s June, which means we’re halfway through the year. So, it’s time for that mid-year goal check-up!
How are you doing Queen? Have you made progress? Have you hit some of your goals already? Are there any goals you need to pivot on?
Ponder these questions as I break down my goals for the second half of the year.
As you all know, from the Triggered blog post, which, side note, is our most-read blog post to this date. Y’all really like that tea, huh? Anywho, as you all are aware from that post, my plans for 2022 were completed flipped upside down when I found myself having to escape a toxic living situation. I did that and now I’m living in a beautiful Spanish-style house with a jacuzzi, yard, and my own bathroom. I still have two roommates, but they’re both fly Queens who are busy slaying and Life is good.
At the same time, I found myself getting a significant raise at work, and ever since these two major life changes have happened, I have been wanting nothing but...
To enjoy life.
You know, it’s taken quite a long time to get to this point in my life. I started working at the age of 14. I have always had a job and school or two jobs or a job and a side hustle and I am tired. I’m tired, Queen.
The cool thing about where I am in life right now is that I don’t HAVE to hustle. I make more than enough at my 9-5 to pay the bills and invest in Phorbe.
However, I find myself restless and unable to fully enjoy this period of my life.
I had an interesting conversation with my therapist last week. I was explaining something to her when I found myself admitting that it’s hard to enjoy where I am right now, not because I think something bad is going to happen or that I don’t deserve it, but because where I am is only on the first step out of 100. I have this large scheme in my head of what I want my life to look like and it’s taken me 29 years to get just 10 percent of that.
My therapist then asked me if I truly thought I would be happy after I achieved EVERYTHING that I wanted to in life. My answer is no. Every time I reach a goal, I’ve already started planning the next one in my head.
I am ALWAYS constantly looking ahead to the future and never taking the time to just be here, present, and enjoying life as it is.
On the other hand, I have been racking my brain to figure out what it is that I want right now, and I can’t think of anything. I know that when I am clear on a goal, I can bunker down and manifest it into existence. However, when I am unclear, nothing happens. I have ALL OF THESE GOALS, but I don’t know where to start because I can’t even imagine the next step. I’ve worked so hard to get to this step, that I never even thought of what the next step would look like.
So, with ALL OF THAT in mind, my goal for the remainder of 2022 is to STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES.
What does that mean? That means I am not setting any goals for the remainder of this year. I have only one task, to be as present as possible every single day. I want to learn how to truly let go and let God work while I enjoy the blessings, he’s provided me with so far. I deserve it. I need this.
This is difficult for me because I am always trying to reach a goal and push myself to do more. So for me to just relax and do the bare minimum...to just go with the flow seems incomprehensible. However, there’s a part of me that feels like as soon as I let go, everything will begin to fall into place.
How do I plan on doing this you may ask?
1. Self Care
I have laxed on my entire self-care routine over the past 9 months. I haven’t been doing my morning routine. I haven’t been doing my hair care routine. I’ve barely been taking myself out on #QueenMeDates. I’ve just let it all fall to the waste side.
However, everything in my body is telling me I need to get back to journaling. I need to get back to doing my morning yoga. I need to spend more time with my spirit guides. I need to get back to putting myself first...to taking care of myself because when I take care of myself, I am in higher spirits, vibrating higher and able to truly take on the world.
It’s clear that the self-care routines I had in place before, are no longer going to work for where I am in life right now. So, with as much love and compassion for myself that I can muster, I will explore and find a way to take care of the me I am today.
2. Doing things that bring me Joy
I have already begun doing this by retiring my virtual assisting business and jumping face-first into building the Phorbe Queendom. While I am damn good at being an executive/administrative/virtual assistant and making good money doing it, it is not my passion. I want to help people reach their goals, but I no longer want to help people reach their goals at the expense of my own.
With Phorbe, things are different. In the last week alone, we have added over 1000+ new Queens to the Queendom. Views are up, engagement is up and that goes for both TikTok and Instagram. The Queendom is growing and I am having a blast creating content that inspires and motivates us all to keep being the best version of ourselves while showing ourselves patience, love, and joy.
No more hustling. No more going a million miles per hour. I am working my 9-5. I am resting. I am creating content, and I am having as much fun as I possibly can in the process.
My biggest struggle with trying to let go is not knowing how to do it. I am so used to trying to take control of everything. I’m tired of it. I don’t want to do that anymore. I’ve recently come to the conclusion that the only way that I can truly learn to let go is if I ask for help. So, that is what I’ve been doing. Every morning, on my morning walk to the train station, I take a moment to repeat the following prayer out loud, asking God to take the reigns.
“Jesus, take the wheel. I recognize that I cannot do this by myself, I no longer want to do this by myself. God, I place my life in your hands. Fill me with your holy spirit so that I may become YOUR best version of me. I know that I am the Goddess of my domain and you are the fire that fuels my spirit...the end and the beginning... together, there is nothing we can’t do. There is no obstacle that we can’t face. So use me, God. Come all the way into my house, not just the front room. Come all the way in and change me from the inside out. Use me. Guide me. Teach me. Show me. Forgive me father, for all of my sins, and I thank you for being a father who forgives. Teach me how to let go and let you work because I know that your plan for me far outweighs anything that I can ever dream of for my life. “
I then repeat my favorite affirmations:
I don’t chase, I attract. What is meant for me will simply find me.
God, show me how good it can get.
With the help of my therapist and my mental health wellness group at Church, I will continue to keep learning and growing through my healing journey. I have learned so much since going back to therapy and joining my group. I’ve gained sisters in arms. People who remind me every week that while I may feel lonely as all hell going through this process, I am not alone. There’re other people out there working towards healing from all different walks of life. After dealing with my mother and escaping a toxic living situation with a person who refuses to recognize they need healing, I know what’s at st
ake if I don’t continue to do this work. So, I am adamant about staying the course no matter how hard it gets. But again, having compassion towards myself and taking breaks when needed.
So, I am making a huge pivot in my plans for the year in that there are no plans. My mentor once explained it to me this way. Imagine you’re in a boat on the river of life without a map. You’re not going against the current, you’re just following the flow wherever it leads you, being open to whatever the universe...God has to offer. I’m going with the flow and in the meantime, stopping to rest and escape into the smell of the roses.
Now, it’s your turn. Take a look at your goals for 2022. For all the goals you have met, celebrate them. You did that! For all the goals you’re making progress on, celebrate that too. Determine how to keep the ball rolling. For the goals,
you have yet to make any progress on, recess whether that goal is still important. If it’s not. Drop it. If it is, how can you make it a priority? What’s the first step you need to take? Take some time this week to take stock of your year and set yourself up for SLAYTASTIC rest of 2022.
Step into the Queen you’re Meant to Be, review your goals, and SLAY!