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Queens, yesterday we spoke about the 3rd B of Phorbe, "Beauty", inner beauty to be exact. We did some internal work to discover what makes us happy and if we are indeed in a happy state presently. We wrote a list of ten items that make us happy and went through each to determine if we had or were doing that item in our life right now.
In my life, I discovered that although I am in a really great place right now, I am not truly happy. This is confirmed through the restless feeling I've been clouded in for the past few weeks. When putting together my list, I discovered five things I can be doing or could have that would make my life complete right now:
6. Being Creative
7. Freedom
8. Having a Group a Friends I can be Vulnerable With
9. Living a Productive Life
10. Traveling
Queens, this is the most difficult part. Soul searching, being honest with yourself, and identifying those parts of your life that are lacking. You now know where you are, your point A. It's time to map out a course to get you to point B, where you want to be. This, in my opinion, is the easiest step. Setting goals to help you achieve those items on your list that you are missing.
Setting Goals
To simplify this step, we are going to take the metaphor of a journey to the extreme. Think of a goal as a destination. The destination is your happy place. A place where your current dreams have come true and you can revel in the glow of your success. In order to walk Boldy in your purpose through life you have to have goals that you are reaching for. Otherwise, you're just wondering around in circles with no direction.
In fact, like the stereotypical dad, many of us want to head towards that destination with no direction. These are people who say their goal is to be rich. The problem is, with no direction, you don't know how you're going to go about obtaining that goal. Really, you don't know what your goal is because you haven't clearly defined what "rich" means. It's like saying you want to walk across the room blindfolded. You have no idea where the other side of the room is. So you just walk, and walk not ever going anywhere. I have news for you Queens. That is not a goal, that is a dream; a destination with no clear, mapped out, plan.
Setting Actionable Goals
The type of goals we need to be setting, especially in 2018 are actionable goals. Goals with a specific destination point and a map with actions or mile markers and rest stops written all over it. Think of your stereotypical, Type A mom who plans out bathroom breaks, lunches, and switch offs down to the second. That is how we need to be with our goals. So, instead of saying my goal is to be rich. An actionable goal would say:
DESTINATION:
My goal is to make 1 million dollars by September 26, 2022.
MAP:
By selling 25,000 copies a year of my book at a price of $10 over the next four years.
Through social media marketing, monthly speaking engagements, blogging, and online line self help e-courses I will get the word out about the book.
The book will be written over the course of 10 weeks, a chapter a week, and self published on amazon by September 15, 2018.
Do you see the difference? Not only do I know where I am going now, I also know that I need to write a book, market that book, and sale that book (actions) if I want to get to that destination. I'll make a pit stop at the end of each year to make sure I have sold my 250,000 books and make necessary adjustments to my marketing plan to increase sales for the next year. But before I get to that point, I will pass the the 10 weeks where I will actually write the book and then make a left to develop the necessary tools I will need for marketing.
How to set your own actionable goals
To create actionable goals you want to define your goal as specific as you can using the 4Ws: who, what, when, and where. To get the how, you want to break your goal down into actions. This means, as much as you possibly can, you need to anticipate everything you will need to do in order to reach that goal. Finally, you want to add a timetable to each step of your goal adding deadlines for when each step needs to be completed and time outs to review your plan and make sure you're on track towards your goal. Actionable Goals come with the ultimate GPS.
Now of course, this will involve some research. Maybe your goal is so big you have no idea how to start. This is where you would ask someone who's reached a similar goal, read a book written by someone who's done something similar or seek advice from a mentor or guidance counselor.
This is also alot of informatiom, so the best thing to do is to write it all down so you can begin training your brain and can have record of your goal to come back to during "rest stops".
There are many different ways to go about setting your own actionable goals. Experts all across the globe have come up with their own method. Leonie Dawson, creator of the My Shining Life and Biz Goal workbooks uses the metaphor of climbing a mountain. The peak is your goal, clearly and specifically defined. The climb up the mountain is where you'll need to take the steps needed to reach that goal.
Jack Canfield, co-creator of the Chicken Noodle Soup for the Soul series and author of The Success Principles: How to get from where you are to where you want to be uses the wheel and spoke method. Do you remember in elementary school when you first learned how to write a sentence or a paragraph, your teacher had you write the main idea in the middle of a blank piece of paper and then draw a circle around it? That was your wheel. Then you'd draw a line from the circle (spoke) and write something that supports the main idea. It's the same concept except the main idea is your goal and the supporting ideas are your action steps.
I've used both of these methods and they both worked. They're really great for visual learners. I'm more comfortable seeing a goal as inverted triangle with the goal at the top. I then list everything it would take to help me reach that goal underneath; breaking the goal down further and further until it can't be broken down anymore.
Create Actionable Goals for your Happiness
So you have these items from your list of 10 things that make you happy, that are not apart of your life right now; leaving you unfulfilled. The assignment is to turn those items into actionable goals that will allow you to gain access to these items, establish them in your life, and increase your happiness level. Below are the goals for three of my five items.
7. Freedom
A. Financial Freedom
i. Review fiances and create a new budget that prioritizes tithing, saving, bills, and summer fun with my siblings in that order by June 30, 2018.
ii. Rework my driving schedule so that my weekend falls on Sunday and Monday instead of Saturday and Sunday by June 30, 2018.
B.Physical Freedom
i. Commit to drinking half of my body weight in ounces of water for the entire summer.
ii. Cut down to one 24 oz bottle of soda every forty eight hours
iii. Walk up and down the hill (I live on a steep hill) every morning this summer, with the option to walk on Sundays
Bo
8. Having Friends I can hang out with and be Vulnerable With
A. Continue the practice of saying yes to every social invitation
B. Reach out to three friends who no longer live in California and coordinate trips to visit them where they live now by July 31, 2018.
C. Extend three social invitations for lunch/brunch and three for a fun activity by August 31, 2018
10. Traveling
A. See #8B
B. Save $40 a week outside of savings for two international trips. One Birthday trip to somewhere in North America and one trip in January to a different continent.
C. Make a point to visit: Malibu with my blood sisters on Thursday, San Diego with my little Sunday July 29th, and Vegas with my brother August 24th and 25th
My goals for being more creative and productive are not here because of two reasons. 1. I am planning in being a lot more creative in the near future, especially as we get close to the release of my book. However, before I can run away with my creativity there is some grunt work, organizing people and information and brainstorming ideas, brands, and plans, I need to do first. 2. My creative goals are all apart of my super secret but really just private, master plan which is crazy ambitions and will keep my time occupied and productive.
On the journey of finding my happy place again, I am taking this Summer to focus on these goals and will keep you updated through the Phorbe Instagram story on my progress. I will also continue this important conversation in future blogs. For example, next week's BLESSED blog post will center around how to turn your goals into affirmations in order to activate the law of attraction. I hope you'll continue on this journey with me. In the meantime, leave a comment with your actionable goals below.
It's a beautiful day to conquer the world, so go forth and slay!
-Queen Maree
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED JUNE 19, 2018