Queens, let's step back for a moment. Ever since Phorbe launched I've been preaching that you should follow your goals and dreams at all costs, no matter what. This is good advice for you Queens out there who know what your goals and dreams are. However, there are many people out there right now who are lost. It's graduation season. A lot of high school students are stepping out into the world for the first time without a clue of what they want to do. There are some college graduates who are looking at their degree and thinking what now? Queens, this post is for you.
It took me a while to get to a place where my goals and dreams were clearly defined. I've always been passionate about music. So I thought music was my purpose in life. I discovered Whitney Houston at a very young age and she instantly became my idol. I knew I wanted to be just like her. I also grew up watching Angela Basset in What's Love Got to Do With It and knew I wanted to be just like her as well. I wanted to perform for people and make them feel happy with my music. I started singing at a young age and even began writing songs at 9. Nothing fancy, I would just take songs that I knew and change the lyrics. Eventually I graduated to writing my own melodies.
This was all great, but I was also ignoring a carefree talent of mine: writing. I say carefree, because writing just comes so naturally to me. I always write how I feel and how I speak and so the words just come effortlessly. In second grade my teacher Miss Valencia told my mom that while I was failing math, I was writing the most beautiful short stories...at 6 years old.
When I auditioned for the Orange County High School of the Arts, I got into their Creative Writing program and was outright declined a spot in their music program. Four years later, the same became true for Chapman. I actually auditioned for the Chapman music program and years later, when I had gained access to student records, I was able to go back and look at my application and read the comments. Basically, Chapman said Hell No to me being a music major but they were more than willing to offer me a spot in the Creative Writing program.
Throughout my grade school days I made sure to stay as active as possible in school activities. This made it easier for me to forget I was homeless during the day and gave me a couple more hours to ignore the issue before having to leave school and face it head on again. Most of those activities were performing arts. I was in multiple choirs ( I changed schools a lot, like 3-4 times a year), played a hotbox girl in Guys N Dolls and a few other plays. I always put myself out there to perform in talent shows. Before we left Cleveland, I actually took an acting class at the local rec center and loved it. When we moved to California I was approached by a talent scout with John Casablanca (Agents of Shield, Vogue, Criminal Minds, Victoria Secret) and later IMTA (Katie Holmes, Ashton Kutcher, Jessica Biel). I took acting classes with both agencies and fell in love with the art form.
Still, I didn't know what I wanted to do with all of this. When I reached my senior year of high school, I was lost. I didn't know how I was going to make a career out of either of these three options. I saw other kids talking about college and decided that I better apply for school so that I don't get left behind. Fun fact, I only applied to Chapman University. Thank God that worked out.
When we spoke about God's Plan, I revealed that it wasn't until I returned home from my year abroad that I realized my goals and purpose in life. I had completed the forty day Purpose Driven Life devotional and realized that God put me on this earth to entertain, to inspire, to end familial homelessness.
Still, those were some pretty big goals and I still had no idea how to clearly define them. Over the years, I would read dozens more self-help books and with each one, my vision got clearer and clearer. Until one day, after reading the Success Principles by Jack Canfield I got a clear vision of what I wanted my life to look like. I started out just writing a list of 100 things I want to do and be in my lifetime. Then, I believe God took over and just said, let me show you child...and I saw my life from that moment until, and I know this may sound crazy, but until death. It's like I know exactly what I'm going to do in each different stage of my life, I know about the man I am going to marry, I know about my children, I know the records I will break, the people I will help, everything...even the end. Each and every goal I have has a why, is clearly defined, and builds into the larger plan God has for me and I have for myself.
From there, it became about setting myself on the right path to fulfill that destiny. It's taken me a while to do so, but I think I'm finally on the right track.
Queens in the same way I discovered my purpose, you have to know:
1. It may not come to you right away
Your purpose may take years to become clear to you and that's okay. Many successful people had trouble realizing their purpose. Sometimes it's part of the process. Trust your gut and never settle for less than what you deserve.
2. In the meantime, do something you love and that you're passionate about
While it may take time to find, you can open yourself up to finding it by doing what you love. Even if you have an idea of why you were put on this earth, but it's not completely clear yet. Stay busy, not just doing anything, but doing something that brings you joy. If you love music, create music. If you love to play video games, play video games on YouTube and create a career out of it. As you dive deeper into your passion you began to learn more about yourself and why you were attracted to that passion in the first place.
3. Keep learning; build on your strengths and work on your weaknesses
Maybe you go to college, maybe you don't. That choice is up to you. Looking back, if I had the choice and didn't need to depend on college to bring me out of a bad situation, I probably wouldn't have gone. You don't have to go to college in order to continue learning. I've learned some of the greatest lessons in life from reading. Educational books, self help books, biographical books, historical books they will all bring you an understanding of the world that is unfounded anywhere else. Listen to podcasts, watch ted talks. Stay conscious of what you are consuming. Practice, rehearse, and stay up to date on current trends.
4. Keep in mind what your perfect world would look like
If you could change anything about the world what would it be?
5. Think about creative ways for you to do what you love while creating that perfect world you envision, and providing yourself with a living
Bring it all together. How can you use your passion, your skills, and gifts to solve whats wrong with the world and still get paid?
If it helps, fill in the blanks:
I am passionate about_______________,
but I also excel at_______________________ and _________________.
So, I am going to use these gifts to ___________________________________ (the change you want to see in the world) by ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.
Another great way to open yourself up to finding your purpose is to pray about it. Ask God to show you what your purpose is and listen for his answer.
Let me know in the comments below where you are in your journey of finding your purpose. If you've found it already, help our fellow queens out and drop some knowledge.
It's a beautiful day to conquer the world, so go forth and slay!
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED JUNE 4, 2018