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Queens, we've done some good work over the past couple of weeks. We have done the ground work to discover our purpose. We clued in to what makes us happy and pinpointed areas of our life that are lacking. We turned those areas into actionable goals and and we are ready to put in the work this Summer to make those goals a reality. We are gungho. We are inspired and ready to hit the ground running. We are passionate.
Then CRASH!!!! Out of nowhere LAPD decides to turn your car into their personal crash pad. BAM!!! You lose your job. SMACK!!! Life comes to a screeching halt when you and your S/O get into an argument so bad that there is no way to repair the damage. You break up.
Slowly and over time, you loose interest in fixing those things that can bring real true meaning to your life because what you had from the beginning, the stuff that was keeping you going, is now gone. Now you don't care if your life is great anymore, you just want to get back to good. So you start to slack off on your goals and you let go of creating a better life. You settle for life as it is.
Queens, I speak from experience. Everything I describe above has happened to me over the last three years, right when I found myself in a place of growth BOOM, something happened. For most people, nothing even has to happen. The inspiration wears off and overtime, they lose focus and motivation and their goals get forgotten. Shout out to all the New Years Eve Resolutioners.
For today's "Beauty" post we will continue to look inward, dig deep, and find the perseverance we need to keep going even through the struggles and especially when the inspiration is gone. I found this article written by motivational speaker and self empowerment coach Tony Fahkry on medium.com . The article is titled " 4 Steps to Help you Stay Committed and Inspired to Achieve Your Goals". I found Tony's steps to be a great guide for helping you unearth your perseverance and keep going even when the going is tough. They just need a little more flare.
Tony Fahrky's 4 Steps to Unearthing Your Perseverance with a Jazzy Touch
1. Create Successful Habits
Tony states a key to success is to "create daily habits that will draw you closer to your goal".
In my opinion, this is the best way to push through and continue fighting for your goals even when you've ran out of inspiration. Inspiration is not a lingering feeling. It's a spur of the moment feeling that sparks instant action from you.
Someone who sets a New Years Eve resolution, sets the resolution after having been inspired by a photo they saw of their favorite celebrity. Now they want to get in shape. So they sign up for a gym membership immediately. After a few weeks the inspiration wears off and that person is back to their routine of going straight home to climb on the couch and watch TV until it's time to get ready for bed.
In order to keep going when the inspiration is gone, you need to spend the time that you have feeling that inspiration to set up good habits. As Tony says, these habits should be habits that push you forward towards realizing your goals.
In the example above, you will want to get into the habit of going to the gym every day, straight from work. Even on the weekends. The first thing you want to do when you wake up on Saturday and Sunday is head to the gym. You want to train your body and mind to look for this new habit as apart of your daily routine, so much so that if for some reason you're late getting to the gym one day you start to feel it. You know that feeling you get when you forget to put on earrings one day or that feeling you get when you realize you may have forgotten to say thank you to that person who was helped you out at the grocery store.
It's not a painful feeling. It just irks and it nags at you until you end up going back to store to say thank you to the clerk who was exceptionally helpful.
You need to create habits during that inspiration phase and follow them so well that they become second nature. So even when the inspiration is gone, you still have a burning desire to continue that habit.
2. Develop an Insatiable Hunger
Now, Tony used this as his step 4 stating, "successful people believe in themselves. They’ve developed an inner resolve — an inner dialogue that continually feeds them with successful images, thoughts and beliefs. These inner dialogues have the power to cancel out any external misgivings that arise in the pursuit of their goal."
I think this is just as important as setting good habits for yourself and so I moved it up to #2. You know how when you're hungry all you can think about is food? You need to want your goal so bad that it is all you can think about, dream about, and talk about.
You have to develop a taste for your goal so that even when you're original inspiratiom runs out, you start actively looking for more inspiration and motivation.
There are multiple ways to build that hunger. One way is to read from and listen to those who are on the same path you aspire to be on. If you want to be an Olympian, you should be reading books by and about Olympians. Listening to podcasts on Olympians, taking classes on technique, and watching TV shows that revolve around Olympians. Don't waste time consuming meaningless TV when you could be feeding your goals and dreams useful information.
Not only should you be absorbing inspiration and information from all of this, but you should also be implementing what you learn and practicing it. Which is another way to build your hunger. Practice. Practice again. Then practice some more. Something that Beyonce and Michael Jackson have in common is that neither one of them had childhoods. They both spent every moment they could practicing and perfecting their craft. Now they are two of the most widely renowned entertainers in history. You don't have to give up your childhood, but you can dedicate a great chunk of time, everyday, to practicing your craft.
Another way to keep your hunger alive is to remember your why. Why is this goal important? Why did you start this journey in the first place? If your goal is to make 1 million dollars by the time you're 30 remember those times you had nothing and you had to beg, plead, or miss out because you couldn't afford anything. Remember those days and use them to fuel the fire that propels you forward towards your goals.
3. Celebrate your Victories
Tony calls this step "Focus on the smaller victories" stating, "Focusing on smaller victories along the way gives you the self confidence you need to forge ahead."
I couldn't agree more. I, myself, am guilty of just working, working, working without pausing to reflect on how far I've come and how much I've accomplished.
Remember, an actionable goal is just a bunch of smaller goals that all lead up to the one major goal. It's important to stop and congratulate yourself every single time you hit one of those goals because its a big deal to make it from where you were to a step closer towards your dream. It's a major deal.
Those moments come in handy when you're feeling discouraged. You'll remember how far you've come. They're helpful when you feel like you can't. You'll remember that you've already been doing it....you just have to do it a little longer. They come in clutch when you have to prove your worth in a job interview or audition. Because they are living proof of your abilities.
Celebrate yourself.
4. Be Accountable to Someone
Tony describes the benefits of being accountable to someone as being "likely to stay focused on the task at hand since we don’t want to disappoint others."
I put all of my goals on blast with Phorbe so that you Queens out there can keep me accountable. I tell my mentors my goals all the time and we have meetings every month to make sure I am keeping on top of everything. I share everything: the goal and the why so that if, for some reason, I fall behind, that mentor can not only remind me of whats important but why its so important to me.
Share your goals with someone. If you don't have someone you can always share your goals with me. That way when the inspiration is gone or ish hits the fan you have someone who can remind you that you are capable of greatness. You just have to go after it.
I hope these steps help you stay the course this Summer when working towards the goals we've set together. If you have tips for how to persevere through the tough times, please share them in the comment section below! Next week we'll keep going in this series of setting and accomplishing goals. We'll talk about turning our goals into affirmations and how to use a vision board to help us stay on focused.
It's a beautiful day to conquer the world. Go forth and slay!
-Queen Maree
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON JUNE 20, 2018