Sis, you's a bad Bitch
Even when you don't feel it
You're still the baddest
I've recently caught up on Euphoria. For those of you who haven't seen the show yet, it's about a group of high school students who are all going through it. Each student is struggling with their own very real and very human struggles. One character in particular that I identify with is Cat.
Cat is a beautiful Pretty Hot And Thick (PHAT) Queen. And while there are times when she feels this confidence through the roof there are other times like in episode three of the second season where she is just feeling the weight of everybody's opinions and society's negative body image standards. All I can say to that is...
I've been yo-yoing the same ten pounds for about sixteen months. I took a year off from soda and it did absolutely nothing but made me want soda even more. Let's just say my #MyFitnessJourney has been struggling.
It's not all bad. I've successfully been intermittent fasting for just as long, 16 months. Last year, I stretched my pallet more and found more foods and drinks that I enjoy eating and drinking. But most importantly, I've learned to love my body in it's present state and not based off of the contingency that I've lost weight.
Loving who you are starts on the inside, but the outside is important too. If you're struggling with who you see in the mirror, here are 7 things I did and still do that helped me fall in love with my body.
1. Walk Around Your House Naked
Remember when Megan said:
I walk around the house butt-naked
And I stop at every mirror just to stare at my own posterior
I don't wear clothes in my home. In fact, that's the first thing that I do when I get home. I take off my jewelry, then I take off my wig, then I take off my clothes. I watch TV in my birthday suit, I eat food in my birthday suit, I sleep in my birthday suit. Get comfortable with yourself in your purest form.
2. Build a Signature Style
Queen, I don't know if you've noticed, but I only wear the colors black and gold. Dat's it. It all comes back to the logo for the Queen Maree brand. If you haven't seen it, here it is to the left.
If you notice my logo is a geometrical female lion. This is because the Female lions are the true Kings of the Jungle. While the male lions sit on their ass every day picking fights with babies and scratching their balls, the female lions are out hunting for food and take care of the children. The female lions are the ones who get shit done.
In fact, I want to give big cat energy in everything that I do. I want to chase after my goals as quick as a cheetah, but as stealthy as a panther. I want to What color are all the big cats? Black or Gold.
The script is giving Queen Nefertiti vibes. Did you know that Queen Nefertiti was seen as an equal to her Husband Pharaoh Akhenaten. During the time of their rein together, the brought about a religion revolution and one of the most wealthiest periods in ancient Egypt. Most importantly it's said that many people liked her and many people disliked her. Some even feared her. But no matter what, she commanded respect everywhere that she went.
With all that in mind, you have the Queen Maree logo and my new wardrobe. You will rarely ever see me in something that's not black, gold, rose gold or yellow. Everything from my shoes, to my headphones, to my backpack follows this scheme and brand.
It makes life so much easier. When I'm trying to decide to wear, it's easy. A black shirt and black pants. I look damn good in black so even when I'm not trying, I'm still giving you something. Having a signature style is like having built in confidence everyday. Oh and there's the fact that I wear a crown on my head every day too.
3. Try Something New
I've gotten into the habit of giving in to Instagram and Tik Tok ads. If I see something going viral that looks good on everybody, I'm going to try it. The infamous Tik Tok shirt: I bought it. I love it. All the girls were talking about using magic shaving powder instead of shaving. I bought it. Tried it. Loved it. It's all I use now.
Finding these new items or new ways to practice self care keeps things exciting and new for me. There are brands, i.e Stay Golden Cosmetics and Kemetic Knowledge that I found that I've tried and now, I'm a affiliate partner for them.
Of course, don't go spending money you don't have and set a limit on when you buy these things.
4. Do DIY Self-Care
Save some money and fall in love with every crack and crevice that is your body. Every other week, I take a day to shave, exfoliate, buff, and moisturize every inch of my body. From my hair down to my feet. I deep condition my hair, shave using the magic shaving powder, do my own facial, and put a mask on my feet and hands. Then I take a nice long, bubble bath.
Queen, there's some things that are inherently you. Those things that you were born with that make you you. Those things are special. But then there are things like bald edges or dry skin that are negotiable. You don't have to have bald edges. There's something you can do repeatedly over time to reverse that.
Taking the time to complete some DIY self care every month allows you to work on those pesky imperfections, while also forcing you to physically touch yourself and provide tender love and care to every part of your being.
5. Buy Some Lingerie
Lingerie is not just for your boo, Queen. It's for you too. As I said earlier in this post, you will never SEE me in any colors outside of black and gold. But underneath all of that....gworrrrrrrrrlllllllll. It's dangerous. Okay hunty. I'm talking things I had to look up how to put on...yeah, it gets serious over here and I absolutely love it.
First of all the look in the mirror when everything is on and in place? The fact that up until this post, it's been my own little secret that nobody knows. Wearing lingerie under my normal every day clothes just makes me feel incredibly sexy and confident.
Now, again, this is what I do. I'm providing you with the information, you've got to do your own research. There are many different kinds of lingerie. Find something that feels comfortable and sexy for you and try it.
6. Spend Time Looking at Yourself Naked in the Mirror
Remember when Cardi said:
Walking past the mirror, WOOH!
DAMN, I'm fine.
That's the energy we're going for here. Remember, I don't wear clothes in my house. So when I get out of the shower, I'm just there hanging out in the mirror getting ready for my day in all of my nudeness. Again, it's freeing and it's familiar. Many people have body issues because they don't take the time to look at themselves or even get to know their bodies. I look at myself every day in the mirror and I've slowly fallen in love with what I see.
7. Do a DIY Photoshoot
I do this every week when I film content for TikTok. Whenver I go through the work of putting on a full face and outfit, I make it a point to take some photos for the Gram. Queen, some of them photos I took last year had me looking at myself like DAYUM, dat's me??
Try it Queen. Put on a fly ass outfit, beat your face, take your phone outside and put it on self timer mode and just pose.
This will show you that most of your insecurities are all in your head. You are truly beautiful Queen and it's about time you see it.
If you don't know how to pose, just smile Queen and you'll see it. I promise you.
Here's some of my favorite self portraits from 2021.
and here are some new shots that have helped me get over my recent bout of unhappiness with my body:
I can tell you that you're beautiful until I'm blue in the face, but in reality Queen, it's not going to mean much until you actually believe it yourself.
I hope these tools that I've developed and used to find my beautiful and confidence will help you to do the same.
Step Into the Queen You're Meant to Be and SLAY BEAUTIFUL!!!
Lyrics from Sis! You a Bad Bitch by Sharia Wise, Thot Shit by Megan Thee Stallion, and Money by Cardi B