Have you ever been in the throws of passion working on your most ambitious goal when you start to get a little faint? Then after thinking about it, you realize you haven't eaten all day? Or have you ever woken up with a start, rushed to take a shower, worked to make yourself look like you woke up hours ago and drove like a maniac all the way to an appointment that doesn't start for another hour? Queen it happens. I would be a liar if I said that this wasn't my struggle at least once a week. Okay, maybe twice. So how should you handle those moments?
If you follow Phorbe on Instagram (@PhorbeOfficial) you would know we've spoken a lot about Hustling and working towards your goals this week. This post is dedicated to those moments in time when you feel overwhelmed, like there's too much going on and you just want everything to stop. Not in a lock me up and monitor me way, but in a I just need a moment to breathe way.
As Phorbe Queens we already know it's important to hustle toward our goals, but we also need to recognize that we are human and need to take time for human activities like eating, resting, decompressing, etc. So, here are five ways that I slow down and come back to the present. I'm sure you've heard at least one of these before, and so I'm going to Jazz them up for you (see what I did there...because my name is Jasmine...ok nevermind) so that hopefully, they'll be easier for you to remember going forward.
Queen Maree's Top 5 Jazzy Tips for the Overwhelmed!
1. Block and go Black
This tip is for those who are obsessed with checking their phone, checking up on other people on social media, and ruining their self esteem in the process. Will Smith once said "Don't be hanging with no jank ass jokers that don't help you shine." In other words surround yourself with people who uplift you rather than bring you down. I believe this is true in every social context including social media.
A few days after November 8, 2016 I decided it was time that I took a break from social media all together. I found that every time I logged out of Facebook or signed off of twitter I was either depressed, green with envy, or both. It was the most liberating experiance. I didnt know what to do with all of the extra time I had. I read books, I wrote a book, I planned for Phorbe. Seriously, this site and blog that your looking at right now, probably wouldn't be here if I hadn't stepped back from social media. I became more productive and because my brain was no longer being fed content that made it feel icky, I was happier.
After going six months social media free, I decided to slowly work my way back into social media, but I made some changes first. I went through my instagram ( the only social media account I use, personally, on a daily basis) and unfollowed every real person I knew that wasn't adding rays to my sunlight. I then went through my goals and followed profiles that would give me tips and tricks to help reach those goals. Finally, I followed all of my favorite celebrities who I look up to. If you look through the pages I follow you will see "Blackwomenarepoppin", "achievetheimpossible" and "therock". In doing this, I took my mental health into my own hands. I removed the content that had me feeling and thinking unhealthy thoughts and added content that would feed my brain and pump me up.
You don't have to take a six month long break from social media. But you do need to regulate how much time you spend reviewing something that isn't adding much substance to your life. Make it a rule to only use social media for an hour a day. I'm telling you, it will transform your life. Don't forget to block out the negativity by unfollowing and unfriending those accounts that have you feeling unlike yourself.
Tip Mantras: 1. I'm going black to get myself back. 2.I'm so divine. I block out the dark, so I can shine.
2. Review Your Master Plan
This one is simple. When you're feeling like you want to conquer the world but the world is conquering you at the moment, review your goals. This helps you remember why you're doing what you're doing. Why you're putting yourself through this. If it was easy, everybody would be a success. That goal accomplished or that dream realized is apart of your happily ever after. But in order to get there, you've got
to slay the dragon first.
Review your written goals or better yet, review your vision board. Stop and take a moment to visualize yourself as a success. Jim Carrey used to do this every night after a long day of hustling to be a comedian. He would sit on a hill and look out at the world below and visualize him conquering it all as the best comedian in the country. Today, Jim Carrey is the truth (I was going to say smokin..but I chickened out). What the hell...Today, Jim Carrey is smokin'!
Tip Mantra: I will conquer this mess so I can be a success!
3. Tell em', Hell Nawl!
This one is a doozy. But oh so important! Learn to say no. I'm a ride-share driver, a big sister, a blogger, an activist, a daughter, a board member, a motivational speaker, and so much more. When I'm in the middle of it all, I'm getting requests from every direction asking for my help with this or can I do that, etc. Queen, if it is not going to benefit you, help you reach a goal, or warm your heart kick it to the curb. You don't have to be rude about it. Just let the requester know that you have a lot on your plate and while you would love to help, you have to focus on bettering yourself and being the best you, you can be. If that requester really cares about you, they will understand.
Tip Mantra: I feel bright and free when I say issa no for me!
4. Separate your To-Dos
Sometimes, the feeling of being overwhelmed comes from that to-do list that never ends. Once you knock three things off, you have to add four more to it. Don't stress Queen. Break your To Do List into Easy, Medium, and Hard (But doable)! Complete the harder tasks first thing in the morning and then the rest throughout the day. You will feel so accomplished and relieved after that harder tasks are done that knocking out those medium and easy tasks will be a piece of cake.
Also, if you can, leave those new to-do's until tomorrow. Otherwise, what will you do with your day after tackling today's to-do's like a boss!
Tip Mantra: I'm breaking it down, to stay mentally sound.
5. Treat Yourself!
This is the easiest thing to do on the entire list, but it always gets put aside. I do it. I know you do it too. Queen, we have to take care of ourselves. If we don't add logs to our fire, it will die. If you don't replenish the ATM machine, there will be no money to withdraw, especially when you need it. Think of it this way, if you go do down, your goals won't get accomplished anyways. So, it's better to take 30 minutes, an hour, a day, sometimes even a week to rest and recharge now, to prevent a break down later.
You have to be your own cheerleader. Pat yourself on the back when you complete a task. Do a little jig after you've finished a meeting. When you have dinner at night, reward yourself that extra scoop of chunky monkey or an extra glass of wine.
Start a membership at a spa for a weekly indulgence. I have a Disneyland annual pass. At the end of every week it is my duty to go and play like a big ol kid. (If not, why am I spending all the money?)
Set money aside for a monthly getaway and an annual two week vacation. Spend your monthly excursion somewhere local in the state. Maybe you go on a one day stay-cation where you can just get away and relax. Save your annual vacation for trips around the world to see new sights and try new food.
Whatever you do make sure you enjoy doing it!
Tip Mantra: My presence is a present so Imma present it with this gift.
It's a beautiful day to conquer the world. So go forth and slay!
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON APRIL 25, 2018